The First
by MaddiD3
Summary: Paris, December 1938. Tessa wakes from a nightmare about Will. She relives the pain she felt about losing him, with Magnus there to comfort her. Based on The Infernal Devices Trilogy by Cassandra Clare. I do not own the story or the characters.


"_Tess! Tess!" _

_Tessa ran through the busy London streets. The cold bitter wind of the English winter bit at her exposed skin. Swerving through crowds of people to get to him. Will. She could hear him at the end of the road. She recognized him from a mile away. The black-haired, blue-eyed teenage boy she fell in love with. She kept running. Will was still standing there, his arms outstretched ready to hold her. She almost neared the end of the street._

"_Will! You're back, oh Will!" Tessa stopped abruptly in front of him. He smiled down at her. "By the Angel, Tess, you're acting as if I've died!" He laughed. "I'm just glad you're back", she looked up at him "I love you". Tessa leaned her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him tightly, fearing that he'd leave if she let go. Will returned the favour, embracing her tight and kissing the top of her head. "I love you too, Tess". _

"_Tessa?" Will pushed her away. "Will? What is it?" she could see the fear in his eyes. The sky turned a deep shade of blue. The wind grew colder and picked up speed. Her hair was whipping around her head and her coat flapping wildly against her knees. All the people suddenly disappeared off the streets, and were replaced by wispy, black cloud like figures. _

_She could feel pressure on her arm. One of the monsters had grabbed her. It grappled her around the waist and pulled her head back. "Will! Will!" one of the figures latched onto him, enveloping its cloud body around him. "I love you, Tess" she could see him struggling, trying to get out of it's cold grasp, but there was no hope for him. "Will! No! Please!" Tessa screamed. She struggled out of the demon's translucent arms and hurried towards him. She was almost close enough to push the demon aside and save her husband, but the other demon caught up with her, accompanied by a few friends. _

_Will wasn't gone yet. There was still hope. Tessa tried to struggle, but the monsters wouldn't give. He was getting older. By the second Will was growing older and older. He looked 30, then 50, and then 70. His hair greying and his skin becoming wrinkled. She could only stare as tears poured down her cheeks. But at an instant, he was gone. Just like that. The dark world disappeared and was replaced by the busy streets of London once again. _

"_Will! Where are you! Come back! Please, Will" Tessa screamed at the empty space in front of her. She could feel her knees collapse under her. She wrapped her hands around her stomach. Sobs racked her body. All she could do was scream for him. "Will! Will!"_

"Will!" Tessa bolted upright in bed. She looked around her, trying to come to terms of where she was. Paris. That's right, Magnus' apartment. She slept on a mattress under the window on the other side of his room. A cold sweat had broken out on her forehead, making her nightgown stick to her chest.

She became aware of the figure sitting on the mattress beside her. "Nice dream?" Magnus asked her, obviously being sarcastic. Of course it wasn't nice. Even thinking about Will always hurt her.

She looked over at Magnus. His yellow cat eyes stared back at her, visible in the moonlight casting a glow across the room. Her hand was on her chest, trying to steady her rapid breaths. "No" Tessa replied and shook her head. More tears fell. She let out a sob and clutched her shoulders.

"Hey, be quiet, or you'll wake up the whole city" Magnus laughed quietly and put his arms around her. She let her head rest on his shoulder and she wrapped her own arms around him. He smelled of turpentine, not anything unusual. Magnus generally made a mess when he created his, interesting, pieces of art. Paint spilling all over the floor and splashing it on the walls.

"I miss him so much" Tessa sobbed into Magnus' shoulder, making a small wet patch from her tears on his silk pyjamas. "I know, I know, I miss him too". It was true. Magnus missed Will almost as much as Tessa did. His sarcastic comments, and humorous quotes, it got boring without Will Herondale around.

"I'm scared Magnus". Tessa pulled away from him, looking up into his eyes. "I'm scared that in a few years, I might forget." Magnus looked confused. "Forget what?" Tessa dropped her head and started to fiddle with the blanket. "That I will forget what he looks like, what his voice sounds like, I might forget him" She looked back up at Magnus, deep in thought. "Do you know what I mean? Tessa said quietly, thinking that Magnus might think she is stupid. "Yes, I do".

"I can't even remember the exact colour of his eyes. I can't tell. All I have is black and white photos. I can see his eyes, but I can't see the colour."

She turned around to face the warlock properly.

"I'm scared I'll forget him. Forget James and Lucie. I'm scared that one day I'll forget all the happy memories we had. Like the day Charles was born. How Henry was so happy, and was pestering Charlotte to let him hold his new born son" Tessa took a deep breath in. "I'm terrified".

"You could go and see them. I am quite skilled at conjuring a Portal, thanks to my old pal Henry". Tessa shook her head. "No, I can't, I couldn't bear go back. Soon they'll go like Will. I'd rather not know when they die, I just want to remember them as if they were still alive".

Tessa sat with her head low, her hands rested in her lap. They pearl bracelet rested in a small bag that was with her bag of belongings at the end of her mattress. She could not wear it to bed. The cord may snap in the night and it would be broken forever.

She still remembered the day he gave it to her. It was their 30th wedding anniversary. Will had taken her to the London Institute to visit their children. It was almost midnight and he had forced her out of bed and up to the attic.

Once they got up there, he led her to the middle of the room and pulled out a small brown leather bag.

"Tess, Tess, Tessa" Will started. "Before I give you this I want to tell you something. I love you" Tessa laughed. " I know that, otherwise we wouldn't be married!"

Will shook his head. "Not just that. I'm catastrophically in love with you. Ever since the first time I saw you I loved you. And after days and weeks, months and years, I am still in love with you. No less than I was all those years ago, maybe even more. You are the foundation of my happiness. You are the reason I wake up every morning, and also because, life kind of works that way, I mean I have to get up, unless I die then I don't need to. But what I'm trying to say is that I love you. You are my guiding light Tessa Gray, and I'd be truly lost with out you."

Tessa let a single tear roll down her cheek. "I love you too Will Herondale." Tessa felt Will's lips come crashing onto hers. Her hands cupped the back of his head, and he held her back. She could not have felt happier than she was right now. Locked in Will's embrace.

But then it ended. Will pulled backed and held up the bag. "Now, it is time for your present" he smiled widely and pulled out a white object. A beautiful bracelet, adorned with round, shining pearls. Will held her wrist and slid the masterpiece onto her delicate arm. "Oh Will, it's lovely, thank you" Tessa sighed and slid her finger over the cream coloured pearls. "Oh, thank Raziel, I was hoping for that answer". Tessa snickered. Will pulled her back onto his lips, promising to savour every waking moment he had with her.

Tessa could feel tears well up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away when she saw Magnus staring at her. He slowly got up. The pressure of him of the mattress letting up. He sauntered over to his quilt covered bed, and sat on the edge of it. The cold Parisian wind blew threw the window, making the curtains sway. He craned his head over too Tessa. She still sat with her head down, hands in her lap, trying to deal with the emotional pain she still felt as strongly as she did that day in 1937. That pain was all too familiar with Magnus.

"_The first one is always the hardest," he said._

"_The first?"_

"_The first one you love who dies," he said. "It gets easier, after." _

_~ Clockwork Princess, Epilogue, Page 555_


End file.
